it hurts more in the daytime
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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