is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize