you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
