Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
