Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
