Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
