I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
