It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
