i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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