I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
