Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
