My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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