We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Ladies don't puke and tell
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
