My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize