Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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