READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
