if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize