Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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