you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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