he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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