thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
be right there i have to get my cape
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
