I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize