So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
My liver just broke up with me...
I wish i was in the wii world.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
