I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
a search helicopter?!
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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