It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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