All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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