Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
