Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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