you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
