i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
