he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
either way he was missing a nipple.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
