Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
