omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize