Fuck appropriateness.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
