Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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