I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Randomize
