two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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