Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
It's never too late to be topless.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
