Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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