In the future we'll all be gay
Tell her she can't have a vagina
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Randomize
