"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
