I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
