There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
