Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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