I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize