i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
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