Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
