he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize