Duck Duck Cougar?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
