Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
