So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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