He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Randomize
