SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize