apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
