Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Randomize
