brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
