so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize