she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Randomize
