Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
