come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
