? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
