If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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