You can't motorboat a personality
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
